I’ve always been a big fan of the dictionary; words matter. No, I wasn’t one of those kids who grew up reading Webster’s every day just for fun (you should watch Spellbound or Akeelah and the Bee, if you want to see a great movie about those people), but I’ve often discovered the key for unlocking a tough problem by rifling through the pages of those fat tomes to recover the true meaning of a given word.
I say “recover,” because today more than ever (and in the realm of social media more than elsewhere) words become buzzwords become catchphrases become acronyms – and become meaningless. We fill presentations, mission statements and marketing copy with words like “community,” “influencers” and “engagement,” but how often do we poke through the “idea” of these words to know what we’re really saying to our customers?
Case in point: When I started working in support at Microsoft, I heard variations on the word “deflect” in almost every meeting I sat in and report that I read – “call deflection,” “incident deflection,” “customers deflected.” Being in a cost center, I understood the need for operational efficiency and optimizing expenditures, but something about that word got under my skin. When I went to my old friend the dictionary, I understood why:
Deflect De*flect”\, v.
1. Prevent the occurrence of; prevent from happening.
2. Turn from a straight course, fixed direction, or line of interest.
3. Turn aside and away from an initial or intended course.
4. Draw someone’s attention away from something.
5. Impede the movement of (an opponent or a ball).
Ouch. We would never have put those words on our Web site – “Welcome to Microsoft Support, where you’ll be prevented from getting help” – but we were subconsciously acting on that word (which we were using all the time), and that’s what was getting communicated to our customers.
In the Online & Community Support team, we talked about a different idea: “customer engagement.” We talked about it so much, in fact, that it became some kind of mythical Holy Grail, an intangible idea. But what did it really mean to “engage” your customers?
Engage En*gage”\, v.
1. To attract and hold the attention of; engross.
2. To gain for service; to bring in as associate or aid; to enlist.
3. To gain over; to win and attach; to attract and hold.
4. To draw into; involve: engage a shy person in conversation.
Wow! Reading those definitions made me really glad to be working on “customer engagement.” 
It also made the concepts – as well as the tools and technologies – concrete and actionable. Isn’t this what we – what every enterprise, across every phase of their business – were really after, attracting and holding the attention of our customers and enlisting them in our cause? It’s what Microsoft wanted to do for consumers in customer service, and it lead to the creation of Microsoft Answers, which has grown to become one of the largest and most successful community support sites in the world. You can follow the path from deflection to engagement – of making support social – in this presentation from the recent Social Media and Community 2.0 conference.
Only when you’re armed with the right words, and a commitment to their meaning, can you define and accomplish what you want to with – and for – your customers.
A marriage (a good marriage that lasts) requires nourishment: sharing, sacrifice (at times), giving without expecting something in return, yielding to the other’s point of view. The marriage produces Trust, Love, and Respect – necessary to build a lasting relationship. Trust, Love, and Respect are what any brand will say “Yes, I want that.” But brands can answer too quick. What a company should first ask is, “do I want to marry this customer and what am I prepared to do from now until death do us part?”